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Other recommended blogs: Amy, Calpernia, Claire, Gwen, Kara, Reise, W3bgrl-Auntie Solder.
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Tuesday, 2005.06.28:
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So, it has been like forever since my last blog update. One friend kept prodding me to update lest I be known for my last blog posting as the "yeasty girl". I guess a lot has happened since then. Let's see if I remember...
*Amber turns on her time machine*
April was a real whirlwind month as Mary and Dylan wed.
With help from friends we found me a killer greenish-blue dress with gold accents. It needed a tiny bit of adjustment through the hip, but beyond that it was ready to go with some strappy gold heels. That was for the wedding banquet. There were some other wedding-related events, but I didn't need to get anything special for them.
About mid-April we held a bachelorette party for Mary. That was a total blast. We rented this really nice suite up in the hills and there were like a dozen of us girls there. We dined and partied late into the night. And, yes, we did have "male entertainment" present. I can't give any details about it ("what happens at the party stays at the party" type stuff) but I'll say that the Man was very, um, flexible.
The only
downer of the weekend was that I couldn't go swimming with everyone
because I was still kinda yeast-infected.Speaking of yeast, I saw my doctor to review the hormone levels and to check on the effectiveness of the antibiotics. The Terazol and Cipro really worked well, though I didn't get all of the yeast with the Terazol---she recommended staying on it another week. As for hormones, I expressed (once again) that I didn't feel HRT was doing too much for me. So we went back to custom compounding me a prescription. We'd try to add a lot more estradiol and a bunch of progesterones to the mix this time.
I met up with some T* friends just before one of them took off for her labiaplasty and I handed her back her foam donut. I swear, those foam ones work much better than the the rubber innertube type. But I guess everyone has their preferences. Anyways, we did dinner and listened to a "big band" up at Yoshi's---it was a change from the usual jazz that we hear there.
My name change also finally went through. I now have a stack of papers declaring I am now legally me. There are a few battles brewing, however. I haven't kept up with the news but I hear that getting a passport now is going to be difficult. But we'll see about that.
Around the end of April the band I'm in played again in public. I think we're starting to get a better sense of timing and cohesiveness. The next day was kind of a disaster, though, because we were plagued with sound engineering problems at an outdoor fair. Still, it was fun. I could get used to playing in public.
The Maroon 5 concert was pretty cool, though I had no idea who the cover bands (yes, plural) were. Add to the fact that the local stadium has terrible acoustics. I guess if you knew all of the band's songs well then you could pick out the melody, but Adam Levine's vocals were drowned in the bad reverb. Nonetheless the house was pretty much full.
Mother's Day was really cool. I still don't know where my parent's stand on things, but I think at some level we're still family and that matters the most. I cooked for Mom, if you can call it cooking. It always brings a smile to my face that we're 100% ethnic Chinese and yet my Mom wanted for her dinner a "Chinese chicken salad". Oh, the irony! Is there anything more unauthentic than that? I should have brought fortune cookies for dessert.
Bay to Breakers was a real challenge for me, but I met my goal: I did not walk! Our friends and I arrived a bit late due to the train being delayed, so we sort of took a shortcut at the beginning of the course. But that couldn't have shaved off more than a 1/4 mile. I kept a pretty steady pace, picking up speed through Golden Gate park to the end. I even beat out the guy in our group who I passed by around Mile 5. I didn't have any kick at the end, however, and that bothers me. I have some other races coming up later this year and I really fear I'm not going to be in shape for them. There, walking is not an option. This will be more like race conditions so I have to be pulling at least 8-minute miles for long distances. Eeehhhh.... I'm scared, really!
I happened to also go to the Erasure concert up in SF and that really rocked. Vince and Andy put on one very fine show in the small Independent theater. It was like only 400 people but we were all crammed together shoulder to shoulder and the energy swelled in that room.
The bigger, more interesting thing recently was that there were a good number of us that went down to the local theme park and had a long day of riding ourselves sick on the rides and eating nasty theme park food. I guess I must be getting older because the park just doesn't have that magic feeling to me anymore. Anyways, the new addition to our park is a waterpark area. They have pools, lazy rivers, and those kind of slides that wedge your bikini up into places you didn't think were possible... Which brings us to bikinis.
It has probably been at least 4 years since I've seriously gone into water because almost exactly 3 years ago I started HRT (2002.06.21) and, well, I couldn't really go into water after that without making a scene. I could probably have gone in around October last year, but I was still pretty ashamed of my body and, frankly, without labiaplasty things really didn't look right. And now I've just gotten over being yeasty. Anyhow, shopping for swimsuits is quite an ordeal.
All the different fits and colors and the fact I'm allergic to nickel made it not an easy task. Remember, I have wide shoulders, a bit of a ponch (bigger belly), and no breasts. It took a while to find the right combination that I think worked but I settled on this orangy floral-spattered 2-piece with a little bit of a built-in cup. Fortunately the bottoms don't have that thong effect---trust me, you don't know what "butt floss" is until you wear some of this stuff.
I was really worried the suit was going to fall off because without much breast development things sorta slide around up there. But I tied it pretty snugly and the top found a way to cling on. And I'll have to say that it gives you a pretty awesome tan afterwards. What's funny is that I thought bikini's would make me feel naked, but actually it's not that bad. They're actually kinda like wearing a lightweight sports bra and tight gym shorts.
This past weekend was the only real negative point in my life lately. So this one friend has been pouring his heart out at me and telling me how much he loves me and on and on. I mean, he's a nice guy and has lots of things going for him, but we're just not right for each other. I don't feel anything for him, seriously. I've been out with a bunch of other people and you know how you get that funny tingly feeling and you can feel it in the other person too? Well, that's not here. In fact, I'm getting more annoyed with it because it's killing our friendship. I don't know what to do about this, but all I'll say is that after a very long sleepless night I drove out to his place the next morning and we had one helluva chat. The funny thing is that that only seemed to make things worse---initially I thought he "got it" that I wasn't into him. So, now we're in a funny position where he's still pining to get me and I'm basically shutting him out of my life. I really don't know what else to do. I hate trying to isolate myself from him, but if I don't then I'll go crazy.
So, there you have it. Sorry for being such a flake on the Net lately but life in 3-D has taken precendence. Bye!
Wednesday, 2005.06.29:
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I've been at a geek convention for a few days now and one of the interesting things I've been taking mental note of is the presence of a lot of women here. I went to this same convention two years ago and I can't remember there being as many present. And these are the highly technical sessions too, talking about database topics and information sharing services. What's encouraging as well is that a good number of women are also fashionable---to me that tells me that they balance both technical skill without compromising being young women.
Thursday, 2005.06.30:
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You're going to love this. So I recently got some test results back to see if the new custom-compounded hormones are indeed doing their trick and apparently they are. My doctor called me up and asked me how I was feeling. I was like, "fine, I guess. I did notice that in the past month or so I've been gaining weight like crazy, though." There was a pause and then she spoke, "are you ready for this? ... You're the equivalent of six weeks pregnant. Your estradiol level is now 836." Needless to say I was pretty stunned at that. 836 pg/mL?! Mind you that I took this reading about 13 hours after I had applied the gel the night before---so the actual peak value might be higher. Still, 836 is 11 times greater than any of my highest recorded tests.
11 times greater...
I started noticing back in May that I hadn't really changed my diet but I started rapidly putting on weight. The first thing that came to mind was just like my other friends on birth control pills, they gained weight quickly. I've also noticed I was really crabby in early May, and maybe in early June. Other than that I really haven't noticed much change at all. That's kind of sad because I was hoping to get a little more breast development. Oh well. I guess my Asian genetics are ensuring I don't get that.
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Entries may show the mood for the day. From best to worst moods here's the list:
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Ecstatic -
Happy -
Good -
OK -
Blech -
Sad -
Abysmal
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